Introduction
When learners move into the intermediate level, one topic that reliably becomes a wall is the **giving-and-receiving verbs (授受動詞)**. The three verbs あげる, くれる, and もらう all relate to "give / receive," but they are strictly distinguished by **who gives to whom, and from whose viewpoint the speaker stands**.
Many languages get by with just "give" and "receive," but Japanese distinguishes "I give to someone else (あげる)" from "someone else gives to me (くれる)" using different verbs. This sense of directionality is the part learners struggle with most.
This article starts with the basic directionality of the three verbs, then covers the honorific forms (さしあげる, くださる, いただく), how te-form plus a giving/receiving verb expresses favors, the concept of perspective and viewpoint, and common mistakes — all with tables and examples.
1. Basic Directionality of the Three Verbs
1.1 Core Directions
| Verb | Direction | Subject | Meaning |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| あげる | me → out (or third party → third party) | giver | (I) give (to someone) |
| くれる | out → me (or my side) | giver | (someone) gives (to me) |
| もらう | out → me (receiver's view) | receiver | (I) receive (from someone) |
The key is the **contrast between あげる and くれる**. Both mean "give," but あげる places the viewpoint on the giver's side, while くれる stresses that the benefit comes to me (or someone on my side).
1.2 Understanding with a Directional Picture
- 私は友達にプレゼントをあげた。(I gave a present to a friend.) — from me outward, あげる
- 友達が私にプレゼントをくれた。(A friend gave me a present.) — from outside to me, くれる
- 私は友達にプレゼントをもらった。(I received a present from a friend.) — my receiving viewpoint, もらう
The same situation, "a friend gives me a present," can be expressed either with くれる (the friend gave) or もらう (I received). If the focus is the giver, use くれる; if the receiver, use もらう.
2. Particles
Each giving/receiving verb takes different particles, so here is a table.
| Verb | Pattern | Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| あげる | giverは receiverに thingを あげる | 私は妹に本をあげた |
| くれる | giverは me(-side)に thingを くれる | 姉が私に本をくれた |
| もらう | receiverは giverに(から) thingを もらう | 私は姉に本をもらった |
- あげる / くれる: に for the receiver
- もらう: に or から for the giver (に for a person, から more natural for an institution)
3. Honorific Forms — Giving and Receiving with Superiors
Giving/receiving verbs have honorific forms depending on the other party's status. This is the second layer that makes them difficult.
3.1 Honorific Correspondence Table
| Plain form | Humble/respectful | Direction | Usage |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| あげる | さしあげる | me → superior | I give to a superior (humble) |
| くれる | くださる | superior → me | a superior gives to me (respectful) |
| もらう | いただく | I ← superior | I receive from a superior (humble) |
3.2 Examples
- 先生に本をさしあげました。(I gave a book to my teacher.) — humble, me to a superior
- 先生が本をくださいました。(My teacher gave me a book.) — respectful, a superior to me
- 先生に本をいただきました。(I received a book from my teacher.) — humble, I received
Note: くださる conjugates irregularly. Its polite form is not くださります but **くださいます**. The request/imperative ください (please give) comes from here.
4. te-Form Plus Giving/Receiving Verbs — Expressing Favors
The real heart of these verbs is that **attached to a verb's te-form they express the giving and receiving of actions**. They convey not just objects but the favor (恩恵) of "doing something for someone."
4.1 Three Favor Expressions
| Form | Direction | Meaning | Example |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| ~てあげる | me → out | (I) do ~ for | 友達に本を貸してあげた |
| ~てくれる | out → me | (someone) does ~ for me | 友達が本を貸してくれた |
| ~てもらう | receiver's view | (I) have ~ done for me | 友達に本を貸してもらった |
4.2 Examples and Nuance
- 私は弟に日本語を教えてあげた。(I taught Japanese to my younger brother.)
- 友達が駅まで送ってくれた。(A friend saw me off to the station.) — a favor done for me
- 私は友達に写真を撮ってもらった。(I had a friend take a photo for me = a friend took it for me.)
A caution: ~てあげる carries the nuance of "I am bestowing a favor," so using it directly toward a superior or someone you do not know well can sound patronizing. Even the humble ~てさしあげる can feel burdensome, so in practice people often rephrase with other polite expressions.
4.3 Honorific Favor Expressions
| Form | Meaning | Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| ~てくださる | does ~ for me (respectful) | 先生が教えてくださった |
| ~ていただく | have ~ done (humble) | 先生に教えていただいた |
- 手伝っていただけますか。(Could you help me?) — a very polite request using the potential form of いただく, frequently used at work.
5. Perspective and Viewpoint — Why the Split?
Japanese giving/receiving verbs encode the speaker's **viewpoint (視点)** into the grammar. The speaker always places their viewpoint on themselves or their own side (内, uchi) and distinguishes it from the opposite side (外, soto).
5.1 The Uchi/Soto Concept
- **Uchi (内)**: me, my family, my close people — the speaker's in-group
- **Soto (外)**: people outside that group
くれる and くださる are used only for actions heading "from outside into the uchi." So "a friend gave (my) younger brother something" can also use くれる, as in 私の弟にくれた, because the brother is uchi.
5.2 Examples of Fixed Viewpoint
- (X) 私が友達にくれた。 — you cannot use くれる when the subject giving is me
- (O) 私が友達にあげた。 — me giving is あげる
- (O) 友達が私にくれた。 — from outside to me is くれる
In short, **when the subject is me (uchi), "give" must be あげる**, and "give" coming from outside to me must be くれる.
6. Why Learners Find This Difficult
6.1 The Strangeness of Two "Gives"
Languages that use a single "give" regardless of direction make the concept of くれる (someone gives to me) feel alien at first, and learners tend to lump everything into あげる. In particular, rendering "a friend gave me a present" as 友達が私にあげた is an extremely common mistake.
6.2 The Sense of te-Form Favors
While "a friend gave me a ride" freely uses "do ~ for" in many languages, Japanese must mark direction grammatically. You bear the burden of accurately choosing 送ってくれた (someone for me) versus 送ってあげた (me for someone).
6.3 Combining with Honorifics
When honorific forms like さしあげる, くださる, and いただく are layered on top, the combinations get complex. But once you firmly grasp the directionality, the honorific forms are like clothing worn over it.
7. Common Mistakes
| Situation | Wrong | Correct |
| --- | --- | --- |
| A friend gives me | 友達が私にあげた (X) | 友達が私にくれた (O) |
| Polite form of くださる | くださります (X) | くださいます (O) |
| I receive from a superior | 先生にもらいました (△) | 先生にいただきました (O, more polite) |
| Polite request | 手伝ってあげますか (X) | 手伝っていただけますか (O) |
8. Practical Expressions by Situation
Giving/receiving verbs appear very frequently in real conversation. Here are natural expressions organized by situation.
8.1 Requesting and Thanking
| Situation | Expression | Meaning |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Asking for help | 手伝ってもらえますか。 | Can you help me? |
| Asking politely | 手伝っていただけますか。 | Could you help me? |
| Thanking | 教えてくれてありがとう。 | Thanks for teaching me. |
| Thanking politely | 教えていただき、ありがとうございます。 | Thank you for teaching me. |
In Japanese, "thank you for doing ~" is usually expressed as 「~ていただき、ありがとうございます」 or 「~てくださって、ありがとうございます」. Both are natural.
8.2 Offering and Being Considerate
- 荷物を持ってあげましょうか。(Shall I carry your bag for you?) — used directly this can sound patronizing, so 持ちましょうか (shall I carry it?) is softer in practice.
- 私が送ってあげる。(I will give you a ride.) — natural among close friends
- 貸してくれてありがとう。(Thanks for lending it to me.)
8.3 Giving and Receiving Between Third Parties
Giving/receiving verbs also express exchanges between third parties unrelated to me.
- 田中さんが佐藤さんにプレゼントをあげた。(Mr. Tanaka gave Mr. Sato a present.) — both are outside (soto), so あげる
- 母が妹におこづかいをくれた。(My mother gave my younger sister an allowance.) — the sister is uchi, so くれる is possible
9. Comprehensive Summary Table
Compressing what you have learned onto a single page:
| Category | Plain form | Honorific | Direction | te-form favor |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| I give | あげる | さしあげる | me → out | ~てあげる |
| Someone gives me | くれる | くださる | out → me | ~てくれる |
| I receive | もらう | いただく | out → me (receiver's view) | ~てもらう |
Memorizing just this table completes the skeleton of the giving/receiving verbs. The rest is refining your sense of directionality through practice.
10. Conclusion
Giving/receiving verbs vividly show how carefully Japanese handles "direction and viewpoint." To restate the essentials:
1. **あげる** is me (uchi) → out, **くれる** is out → me (uchi), and **もらう** is the receiving viewpoint.
2. The honorific forms are さしあげる (humble), くださる (respectful, くださいます), and いただく (humble).
3. te-form plus a giving/receiving verb expresses the favor of "doing ~ for," and you choose てあげる / てくれる / てもらう by direction.
4. Since the speaker always keeps their viewpoint in the uchi, "I give" is fixed as あげる and "it comes to me" as くれる.
A sense of directionality does not appear overnight. As you practice aloud by recalling real situations — "this is a favor that came to me, so くれた," "I did this, so あげた" — it eventually becomes second nature. In particular, polite request expressions like ~ていただけますか are extremely useful in workplace Japanese, so it is worth memorizing them whole.
References
- [Tae Kim's Guide — Giving and Receiving](https://guidetojapanese.org/learn/grammar/favors)
- [Tofugu — Japanese Giving and Receiving Verbs](https://www.tofugu.com/japanese-grammar/verb-morau-kureru-ageru/)
- [Official JLPT site](https://www.jlpt.jp/)
- [NHK World — Learn Japanese](https://www.nhk.or.jp/lesson/en/)
- [Wikipedia — Japanese grammar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_grammar)
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When learners move into the intermediate level, one topic that reliably becomes a wall is the **givi...